I try Analog Horror again…

Hope you guys appreciate this!

DISCLAIMER:

I realize Alex Kister was a 17-year-old with no budget and I applaud him for creating something so many people love.

He has some great ideas and I’d love to see what he could do if he broke away from the limiting chains of Analog Horror and got funding for a more ambitious project.

I’m just a snarky man who doesn’t like analog horror but I call it like I see it and will praise things I like in addition to snarking about things that I don’t.

When I wrote my opinion piece “I Don’t “Get” Analog Horror” I had a surprising voice of dissent my brother Evan. (Check him out here he’s an awesome magician!)

He recommended this series to me saying I’d probably like it.

Anyone who knows me knows I’m a fair man so I (attempted to watch) the first volume of “The Mandela Catalogue”.

Right away I have a snarky nitpick with the name of the series,

I KNOW it’s a reference to the Mandela Effect (Which I should write an article about someday) but it seems odd that a county in Wisconsin would be named after Nelson Mandela.

It’s not impossible though and plenty of places are named in honor of famous foreigners it just gave me a little chuckle.

KNOW YOUR ENEMY:

We start off with the first short “KNOW YOUR ENEMY” and…it started out pretty good!

Not scary at all mind you but it reminded me a lot of Fallout with the tone and T.H.I.N.K acronym.

Both jumpscares were groan inducing but it did a great job of building up the mythology of the series and the “alternate” phenomena.

Then we get to the conversation with Mark Healthcliff and Cesar Torres who is taking his comatose mother to the hospital.

It’s more stilted and unnatural then a porn parody of Paranormal Activity.

Cesar wants Mark to come over and turn on the cameras that he and mother set up when they were robbed. (THIS IS PARANORMAL ACTIVITY!!!)

Mark is unsure since the broadcast told them to lock all their doors and windows but Cesar says his Mom might have seen something.

Mark agrees but says he’s just going to switch them on and leave since “you know how I feel about your house”. (Revealing himself to be a house racist.)

Suddenly the video glitches and a trollface Obama shows up in the place of Cesar.

This is a real thing that happens.

(N̷̰͗̌Ö̷͇̺́ ̶̘͑H̷̯̭͒Ŏ̵̘̄P̸̥̫̈́Ẽ̷̾͜ ̷͇̲͗͑Ȧ̶̖̬̎Ň̷̨̫͛D̶̗̏ ̶̛̗̘̔Č̵̱̳H̶̲͉͑̽Ả̵ͅṊ̶̒̄G̸̨͖͒͆Ě̵̛̝̟ ̵̧́̔O̸͙̺͌N̴̲͠ͅL̸̄͜Y̵̹̐͐ ̵̘̥̏̎B̵̛̘͍̌A̴̡͝R̸̪̒R̴͕̂̂A̶̮͋ͅĆ̸͖̦K̵͓̂)

We then cut to a pretty cool looking night driving scene.

Being a David Lynch fan I’m a sucker for a good night driving scene.

…Maybe this won’t be so bad!

Then this happens…

Okay I’m tapping out now.

I tried I really tried but the horrific jumpscares and the tropes of Analog Horror are just too much.

Now I know how my family feel when I make them watch stupid ghost shows…

Like I said though Alex Kister has some cool ideas and I pray to God he gets a budget so he can walk far far away from analog horror.

Now to quote a prominent Seattle Psychiatrist…

“It is with a gratefully shudder I swore never to return to ANALOG HORROR!”

Though I’m guessing I’ll be back sooner then later…

(Remember THAT comic?)

Well…

Until then…

I’m Nathan Edward Priem and THAT was something else.